But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
