Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
how drunk are you?
Several
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
