I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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