look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
