He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
