You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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