Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
