I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
