Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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