No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
