What a fucking waste of an outfit
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I love you. Go after that dick
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize