And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
