she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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