Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
