It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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