their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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