Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
