I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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