just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
