just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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