I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
