I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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