i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
whose parrot is this?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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