You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
