i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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