We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it glows. i had to have it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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