I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
