I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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