You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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