If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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