girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
