I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
