We're facebook friends in real life
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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