got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
