I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
