worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I need moral support for this bender
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
