You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
