YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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