Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
