tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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