ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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