The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ok first of all what the fuck
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
