You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
