I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
