Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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