I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
