Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
