Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
