i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
