They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
